What is the biggest fear you have about yourself?

What is the biggest fear you have about yourself?

Pondering upon my fears is not something that often happens. But as I think about what scares me, where my fears lie, I find that they are not generated from external sources. It lies instead in my fear of failure to meet my own internal expectations.

Some of the thoughts that keep me up at night include:
Have I done everything that I could to ensure my family’s success in this crazy world? Am I doing everything that I can to keep a roof over their head, food in their mouths, and clothes on their backs?
Am I meeting my wife’s needs? Could I lose everything that we have built up together in an instant?

So how do I get past my monsters? One thing that I have learned over the last few years is to stress about only the things that I have complete control over. Things in life can come at you pretty quickly, and it can be very easy to be overcome by the little things. I worry about that which I control, and have faith that the rest will fall into its own place at its own time. If it is meant to be, it will

What things in your life make it worth living? What do you value above all in your life?

What things in your life make it worth living? What do you value above all in your life?

Many things make me think, others bring a tear to my eye, and still others cause me to let out a large rolling laugh audible to all. So that said, the things that makes my life worth living roll all of those emotions together on a daily basis.

1. Family- My wife is the most important person in the world to me. I owe her so much for helping me in my personal growth and development. She is the reason that I get up every moment, the reason I work so hard every day, and the reason that I survive day to day. My kids- Conner, a little (ok 14 year old) version of myself; Kaitlin, my sarcastic oldest daughter (soon to be my biggest headache); Noah, always smiling; Hannah, always looking to please; Lexi, a plethora of fun; Bella, beautiful blue smiling eyes; and Harrison, always wanting to be with dad.
2. Faith- regardless of that which life throws at us, my faith gives me purpose and direction.
3. Friends- My friends are extended family to me. They are close to my heart and in my thoughts constantly (regardless of the amount of time that has passed since we last talked).

Those things that make my life so worth living, also are those things that I value above all other things in my life.

Am I an optimist, a pessimist, or a realist?

So if you ask yourself what the heck is this crazy Fatman doing up at 4:00 in the morning? Short answer...i changed the oil in my car only to discover that my starter was about to fall off...and just finished replacing it 30 minutes ago.

So topic of the day...i consider myself an optimistic realist...in other words, i have a hopeful vision of what i would like to see happen, but realize what actually is going to happen in the end...

I would love to say more, but have fallen asleep three times while writing this short post…

What significant event do you recall from your childhood?

OK, so since my friends let me know (on an almost daily basis) that I really am bad at keeping my blog updated, I thought that I would try a different approach. So without further ado...

What significant event do you recall from your childhood?

An interesting question in and of itself...there are many significant events from my childhood that I recall vividly (while my short term memory is not always the best, my long term memory is very long). Every event, every choice that I have made (for better or worse) has helped shape my life and allowed me to grow to be the man I am today. There have been many happy or not so happy events which have occurred throughout the years.

One of the most positive events that allowed me to shape my character was becoming friends with Ben Tolman. While we went to school together our entire lives, we really started to hang out our freshman year of High school. As time passed, he invited me to attend a camp out that is Boy Scout troop was going on. I had been a scout for many years, starting in cubs as an 8 year old, and growing into the scouting program as time progressed.

Most of my experiences in scouts came about regardless of whether the leaders wanted to assist or not. Ben's Troop was different. When he invited me to that first camp out, his Scoutmaster, Ron, asked if I could follow one simple rule..."do what you are asked when you are asked to do it"...it was easy enough to follow that rule. As I began attending that troop in earnest, I began to learn leadership skills that would and have served me throughout my entire life.

It was a boy ran troop (which basically means the boys decided what activities would be done with the guidance and support of their leaders). It allowed us to learn how to lead, how to live by the Scout Oath taking seriously our Duty to God and Country (I get teary eyed when I listen to patriotic music or ponder about the cost that our forefathers must have paid for our freedom). It also served the purpose of instilling in us the responsibility of being trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

As I have gotten older and my oldest son, now almost 14, is three merit badges and his service project away from his Eagle, I have been able to share with him (as well as my boy in WEBELOS) the essence of scouting; teaching him the lessons that I began to learn in earnest at his same age. It has been challenging at times (as I am sure it was for my parents growing up...sorry mom and dad), but even if he learns a few of the lessons I learned without having to learn them the hard way, he will be much better off.

While I have had many significant events happen to me in my life, very few days go by that I do not think about our 'Panther Patrol' (the leadership patrol) and the friendships made throughout those years.